Our 2013. Scratch that. 2014.

That title is no joke.  I actually just finished an email where I ended it with a reference to it being 2013. I just stood up to check the calendar and saw that it is, indeed, 2014.
Mommy-brain is a very real thing.
In the few weeks since Christmas we've grown to a family of 6.  Rowen came along on Dec 20, and 4 wks later we received our first phone call from CPS for a 4 year old boy.  That was, of course, a day in which mom & dad were still in their pajamas at 10 am and we'd already battled the wills of another special 4 and 1 year old.  He arrived that day around  lunchtime, almost 2 weeks ago.

It's funny, looking back on your life, at the way God orchestrates all seemingly small moments in preparation for these big, earth shaking ones.  Overnight I've gone from dragging myself out of bed for the first 7:30 wake up to eagerly jumping out at 5:30 for an hour to myself.  I remember as a child, waking up to my mom-showered, dressed, making breakfast- and knowing that she'd been up hours earlier, reading her Bible and praying.  I don't know how I knew that- I can't remember if I asked or was up to witness it, but I remember wondering in my heart how the Bible could POSSIBLY be interesting enough to wake up that early for it.  Now I know that the only way to get to the end of the day without clenched fists full of hair is by constantly abiding in the refuge of Jesus.  So thanks mom, for that memory.  Even at the (almost) age of 30, you are still leading me to knowledge of the truth.  I think of you every morning.

This is an exciting time of life.  Ben marveled the other day that despite this being the craziest and most uncertain time of our marriage, he feels peace. Not well rested, not necessarily calm, but just a deep, fulfilling peace knowing that we are right where we are supposed to be-making lots of mistakes, saying countless "I'm sorry's", but in those moments gaining opportunities to present the gospel in real life.  Discipline, followed by forgiveness and mercy.  Being stretched is never ever comfortable, but we have hope in knowing that these "light & momentary struggles" are achieving for us something so much greater.  It is exciting in the midst of crumbs and dirty dishes and laundry to know that you are working for something so much larger than yourself.  It's indescribably frightening too.